We are going to meet a dolphin
A real, real dolphin
But first you sign a waiver
But first you sign a waiver
(A second time, again!)
If anything should go wrong
(Of course, nothing will go wrong)
It’s not the dolphin’s fault!

And then you have to sit down
In groups of ten or twelve
And listen to the lesson
In what you have to do.
It takes months to train a dolphin
Months and months to train a dolphin
But you have got ten minutes to take the matter in.

Then we put on black suits
Different sizes black suits
Doing up with snappers
Now we look the same
Eager, eager faces
Waiting for the next step
Getting in the water
Getting in a line
Swimming, swimming, swimming
Getting in a line
Move a little forward
Move a little backward
Move a little sideways
Hold that child up straight

And now you meet the dolphin
And now you kiss the dolphin
And now the dolphin tows you
Very very fast
The dolphin is much larger
The dolphin is much stronger
The dolphin is much faster
The dolphin is more slippery
You have to hold on tight
It’s all just so surprising
Endlessly surprising
You think you know what’s coming
But you don’t, you don’t, you don’t

It takes months to train a dolphin
Months and months to train a dolphin
But take a bunch of humans
And it happens very quick!

You get to meet the dolphin
You get to kiss the dolphin
You get to ride the dolphin
You get to pet the dolphin
You get towed by the dolphin
You get shocked by the dolphin
It’s a busy, busy dolphin
But it seems to like the fun

And when it is all finished
And we are climbing out
We see the merry dolphins
Leaping in the air
Two by two they leap up
Turning in the air
Showing off their paces
Giving us their all.

And then we have to walk
Past the lovebirds and the parrots
The bunnies and the pirates
The shops with pretty colours
The cups made out of wood
Until we come to the computers
Computers with the photos
Oh yes, we all had photos,
Lots and lots of photos
All there on the screen
So we picked out all our photos
Our fun, exciting photos
And plucked them off the screen
Of course they wanted money
– Lots and lots of money –
To put them on a disc.

So we grinned and bit the bullet
Yes, we grinned and bit the bullet
And now we have our disc.
And so we can remember,
Remember, remember
Our foray with the dolphin
Our jolly with the dolphin
Our molly with the dolphin
Our one mad, joyful day

And was it really worth it?
Really, really worth it?
Yes, man, it was worth it
Worth it any day!

John Rowan, Caribbean January 2016

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Dr John Rowan
70 Kings Head Hill
North Chingford
London E4 7LY

Tel: 020 8524 7381